I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
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Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
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I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.