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remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
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