Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
