I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
Randomize