when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
Roman Polanski is more welcome at my daughter's birthday party than you are at that bar
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
The 19 Strangest Things People Use To Get Off
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
These 25 Normal Couples Tried Porn Moves During Sex And It Ended Horribly
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want
brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.