I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
For some reason, my father is not responding to the 5 texts I sent him that all read: "Dad dad dad dad dad dddaadd dddddaaaaaaaaad dad".
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
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