We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
You're a womanizer and a bitch.
my mom just informed me my dog smells like cum
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
Randomize
