scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
