I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
Randomize
