This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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