so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
Randomize
