The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
Even the bartender felt bad for me
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
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