just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
So the same great-aunt that told me to freeze my eggs for procreation just told me that I should strut around the dance floor b/c I'd get picked up.
I need to meet your family.
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
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