Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
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