pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
