Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
zippers are such a cool invention
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
True college students do jello shots in the library
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
