i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
Spent 30 minutes in the board meeting trying to figure out where the foul smell was coming from. Thought it was the guy's feet sitting next to me. Then i uncrossed my legs. Turns out it was my vagina. Thank goodness for travel size febreeeze.
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
Randomize
