The cop didn't care that I was peeing on the wall of my dorm building... All he said was, "come on, it's 9am."
I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
So. Much. Porn.
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