I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
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I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
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THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
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