possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
Randomize
