have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
Spent 30 minutes in the board meeting trying to figure out where the foul smell was coming from. Thought it was the guy's feet sitting next to me. Then i uncrossed my legs. Turns out it was my vagina. Thank goodness for travel size febreeeze.
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
Randomize