i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Randomize
