The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
Randomize
