She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
Our new roommate is sitting in the living room wearing a snuggie and clutching a handle of burnett's mixed with what appears to be crystal light and sobbing over a documentary about a dead race horse.
I know. Isn't she utterly fantastic?
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
Randomize
