the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
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Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
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Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory