shes about as inviting as chlamydia
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
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so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
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The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY