I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
Randomize
