i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
Randomize
