He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
I need a hoe opinion
go on
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
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