today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
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