hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
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