I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
Randomize
