Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
Randomize
