Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
I had to put my dog down, accidentally outed my brother, and was given a fucking fish sandwich instead of a Big Mac ALL IN ONE DAY! Am I really the person you want to consult for advice? Hhhmmmmmm?
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