I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
Randomize