i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
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