i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
Please call me back as soon as your phone is charged, if you die tonight I don't want the last thing I said to you to be "I just farted a little"
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
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