So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
Randomize
