it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
Lucky for you, I found your phone.....Not so lucky for you, it was in the bottom of your vomit-filled trashcan.
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
Hello, the Less Drunk that has my sister's phone. I am the Moderately Drunk. I am questioning your Friday activities. Why are you not the More Drunk?
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
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