Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
Randomize
