I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
Randomize
