u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
For some reason, my father is not responding to the 5 texts I sent him that all read: "Dad dad dad dad dad dddaadd dddddaaaaaaaaad dad".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
Sex and sushi don't even sound good right now... I might be on my death bed. To my Liz, I leave my extensive movie collection and my drinking supplies. To Olive I leave my car. Cause every Scottish terrier needs a 2010 Camaro.
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
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