Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
Randomize