so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
We need to feng shui this bitch.
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
Randomize
