yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
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you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
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