Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
Randomize
