I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
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