Picture the opening band right now: euro, beer guts, one member in oversized hipster lumberjack apparel, the other in childsized american apparel and shorts. Singing in german.
Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
