how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
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