my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
How drunk are you?
Completed.
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
Randomize
