Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
i hope kanye doesn't show up to patrick swayze's funeral. " i'll let you get back to your funeral in a minute...but michael jackson had the best death of the year. just sayinnn ".
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
Randomize
