i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize