it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
I think weed is turning my hair brown
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
Randomize
