just come out here and I will go home with you...
why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
I just got a nosebleed on a date at the cheesecake factory...
just run out of the bathroom with blood gushing down your face and scream "ITS IN THE CHEESECAKE!!!!!"
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
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