Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
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