my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
do nipples grow back?
Randomize
