I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
Randomize
