Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
Randomize
