So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
I left a bag of circus animal cookies in my car all day. they melted together into on giant cookie. this could either be the best or worst thing ever
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
Randomize
