Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
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