so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
God. I look like such a fucking stand up guy wearing polo shirts. You would totally trust me not to date rape you.
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
I'm too drunk to remember your name. I'm too drunk to recall where i'm currently at. And i'm too drunk to give a shit.
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
Randomize